i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
