if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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