What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
