What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
