i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
