i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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