so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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