It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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