Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
