Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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