drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
