just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
