do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
