3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How does one acquire holy water?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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