I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
