That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and she was petting her beer can
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
