the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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