He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
