sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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