You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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