we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
