Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
