is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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