he shaved USA in his pubs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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