you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
