butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
