sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
