I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Vodka?
Forever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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