Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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