He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
