happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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