Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
