i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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