I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
