the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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