my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
