nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
