i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
