i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
