**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We are all done wearing pants today
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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