There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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