This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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