sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
