Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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