I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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