The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I love you.
Bad choice
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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