Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
