Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
