it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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