I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
