Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
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