only if we run a train.
done.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He kissed a someone with a penis
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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