..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
