i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
