Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
