I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
