So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
