Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I could fuck to npr.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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