What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
