shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize