Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I looked at my own cervix.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
