do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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