8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
