then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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