Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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