Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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