i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
