My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
