rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
