So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
