i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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