do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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