Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize