I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
