Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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