She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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