My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
