i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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