Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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