If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
