We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize