batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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