I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
