To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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